


save you

by dumbassing



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, But mostly fluff, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, and Ash's, don't worry it'll be fine eventually, mention of Shorter's death lol, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23018920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbassing/pseuds/dumbassing
Summary: "Fucking idiot, he thought to himself. What the hell was wrong with this guy?"We're a few months after the end of episode 24, Sing and Yue are trying to bring peace back to Chinatown, they’re working hard and doing their best but it’s not easy. Meanwhile they're also dealing with a lot of repressed feels and unspoken things and Yue is being an emotional mess.
Relationships: Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Sing Soo-Ling had had a shitty day, to say the least. It was one of those days where, for some reason, everything just seems to go wrong. Nothing very serious though, but rather an accumulation of seemingly insignificant problems which, all put together, started to really weigh on him. He was upset and tired. The only thing he wished for right now was to lie down and rest. He wanted to go home, have a snack, play video games or watch TV for a while and then go to sleep like any regular fifteen year old kid. But things were never that easy when you were the leader of a NYC street gang, right? So here he was, alone in a dreary street at night, shivering with cold. He had just left Cain who requested to see him to secure a deal with another partner. There were always deals to secure, people to meet, problems to solve. He never complained about anything, but there were times like this when he found himself wishing for something different, a more normal life maybe.

He shrugged it off like he always did and stepped up his pace. _Screw this_ , he thought, _I deserve a good night’s rest_. He walked past a small movie theater with broken neon lights and turned the corner of the street. The cold night enveloped him as he was silently hurrying up the avenue, hands in his pockets. He had reached his motorbike and was about to drive home when his phone rang, again. He groaned loudly. Fucking hell. He checked his watch and saw that it was almost 2 a.m. Whoever was calling him now, they better be in some serious, deadly kind of trouble. Sing took out his phone and saw Lee Yut-Lung’s name on the screen. He frowned. Instantly, exasperation gave way to apprehension, and genuine concern.

“Hello?”

No answer. He listened carefully for a few seconds and heard someone panting.

“Yue? Is there something wrong?” he asked.

“Sing...” Yut-Lung’s voice seemed distant and feeble.

“What is it? Are you alright?”

Again, Yue made no answer. Sing could hear him breathing with difficulty, and then the Lee boy started to laugh. It was a nervous, sinister laugh that Sing knew all too well.

“I… I’m sorry” Yut-Lung articulated. “I need you to come, now.”

“Jesus, Yue… You’re drunk, just go to bed.”

“Listen, I don’t feel so good...” Yut-Lung’s voice was more and more feeble, it seemed that he was about to pass out. “I took some pills too, I don’t remember…how many. I- I don’t feel well.”

A drop of cold sweat ran down Sing’s neck. He felt anxiety rise in his chest and grip his throat.

“You did _what_?” he yelled.

“I need you to come” Yut-Lung repeated in a whisper.

“Yue! Are you still there? Yue! Answer me!”

This time he couldn’t hear him anymore, not even his panting.

“I’m coming, I’m on my way” he said before shoving his phone in his pocket.

The next second he was rushing down the road on his motorbike, blind and deaf to everything around him. Luckily the road was rather clear at this hour because he couldn’t care less about the traffic signs and the drivers that got in his way.

*

_Fucking idiot_ , he thought to himself. What the hell was wrong with this guy? His heart was pounding so hard in his chest he felt as if it was about to burst out. That was definitely not what he expected when he thought about a good night’s rest. Fucking Yut-Lung and his dramatic outbreaks. Of course Sing knew he had occasional breakdowns, but usually Yue would just get drunk in his silk gown and pass out on the couch. But this…

A horrible feeling of guilt gripped him suddenly. The truth was, Yut-Lung had been depressed for a while, but he always maintained the illusion of control. He never allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of his partners, not even in front of Sing. Yet Sing should have known better. He knew him, he knew that Yut-Lung wasn’t afraid when threatened with a gun, he knew that there were times when death appeared like a consolation to him. _Shit_. He was simultaneously furious at Yue for being unable to admit that he needed help, and angry at himself for not insisting more when he knew that his friend was not well.

But as he was driving towards the Lee mansion, anger gradually gave way to something else. Sing was worried, anguish was slowly taking over him. What if he was too late? What if he couldn’t save him? He shuddered and shook his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. Losing Shorter was painful enough, then Lao, and even Ash was gone. He hadn’t even recovered from their deaths, how was he supposed to endure it if Yue left him too?

_No fucking way_. He accelerated again. There was no way he would let Yue die. He wouldn’t fail this time.

*

It took him about twenty minutes to drive to Yue’s house, which felt like an eternity. He jumped off his motorbike and ran to the front door, kicking it open and bursting into the entrance hall. Three guards appeared from different rooms, rose their weapons and shouted at him in Chinese. Sing raised his hands above his head to show that he was unarmed.

“I’m here to see Yut-Lung, he called me. Where is he?” he said in a hurry.

The guards looked at him in surprise, and a few others came running down the stairs.

“Where is he?!” Sing shouted.

“Upstairs” one of them replied. “He asked to be left alone.”

“Come with me” Sing commanded as he made his way up the stairs.

The guards lowered their guns and looked at each other, confused, before proceeding to following Sing.

He found Yue in his usual place; lying on the couch, an empty glass of wine at his feet, visibly unconscious. On the table next to him was an empty bottle and a small box containing several pills and phials.

Sing rushed to him and pushed him on his back, seizing Yue’s wrist to feel his pulse. His red silk gown was not fastened properly and revealed a bare shoulder under the cascade of black hair. _Please don’t be dead_ , Sing thought, looking at his pale face.

“Is he…?” one of the guards asked hesitantly.

“He’s alive” Sing breathed, “but very feeble. Bring me a glass of water, and some ice.”

Sing fumbled into the pill box while Yut-Lung’s men were executing his orders, and found an effervescent tablet.

“Don’t you die on me now” he said in a low voice.

A man brought him a small bag of ice and Sing pressed it on Yue’s forehead. The Lee boy did not stir. Another brought the glass of water and he put the tablet in it, then they all watched as Sing proceeded to slap Yue’s cheeks while still pressing the ice on his forehead and temples.

“Er, shouldn’t we stop him?” one of the men asked in Chinese.

The guard who had brought the ice shrugged.

“Looks like he knows what he’s doing” he answered.

After a while Yut-Lung half opened his eyes and groaned. Sing stopped slapping him and brought him the glass of water.

“Drink” he ordered.

Yue didn’t get a chance to protest as Sing forced him to drink the whole glass without letting him stop to breathe. Then Yue closed his eyes again and seemed to be falling asleep. Sing watched him anxiously and kept checking his pulse. One of the guards offered to call a doctor but Sing wasn’t listening. He was looking at the pale boy’s face expectantly. Suddenly Yue opened his eyes, his whole body twitched, he moved to his side and threw up on the carpet beside the sofa.

“Nice” Sing snorted. He turned to Yue’s men again. “Give me another glass of water, and a towel or something.”

He wiped Yut-Lung’s mouth and made him drink again, more slowly this time. Then the Lee boy fell back on the couch, but at least he wasn’t unconscious anymore. Sing was still sitting next to him, he brushed Yue’s long black hair from before his face and touched his forehead.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Miserable” Yue mumbled. “And cold.”

Sing smirked and shook his head.

“No shit” he said. “Don’t ever do that again you stupid cunt. Let’s put you to bed now.”

He got up and took Yue’s frail, shivering body in his arms. _Shit he’s heavier than I thought_ , he said to himself as he stumbled into his room.


	2. Chapter 2

Yut-Lung woke up the following morning with a strong headache. In fact, there wasn’t a single part of his body that did not hurt; he felt nauseous, his stomach ached, his limbs were stiff and his mouth dry. He moved with difficulty and laid on his back, rubbing his eyes and yawning. There were already bright rays of sunshine lightning up the dark room. Turning his head towards the window, he realized that he was not alone.

Sing was there, fast asleep next to him, head turned in his direction. He had left his sneakers and jacket on the floor and slept above the blankets. For a few seconds Yue watched him as he was sleeping, his right hand resting on his chest, his slow breathing. He wondered what Sing was doing here and tried to remember the events of the past night. He struggled for a moment before it all came back to him. _Oh. Right._

He remembered wanting to get drunk, really drunk, then he remembered that getting drunk was not enough. He was still in pain and he felt so, so lonely. He wanted it to stop. He just wanted to stop hurting. And he also remembered thinking that if he disappeared tonight, no one would miss him. And then he did something stupid. At some point he had thought about Sing, that for some reason he would miss Sing. In fact, he missed Sing, he wished he was here.

He didn't know how, but Sing always seemed to find the right words, even if it hurt. But most importantly, no matter how many times he pushed him away, Sing was the only one who never deserted him. He felt a sudden warmth in his chest and tears rolled down his cheeks. He was so grateful for Sing, he was the closest thing to a real friend he ever had. And he had saved him. But Yue also felt guilty, and ashamed. _What an idiot_ , he thought. _He must hate me now_.

But Yut-Lung didn’t get much time to wallow in self-loathing because Sing stirred and woke up a moment later. He yawned and checked if Yue was still sleeping, and greeted him with a smile when he saw that he was awake.

“Morning!”

Yue grunted something inaudible in response and wiped the tears off his face. Sing sat up on the bed and observed him.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Still miserable” Yue grumbled. “Everything hurts, literally.”

Sing snorted.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you get wasted.”

 _Oh come on, give me a break_. Now Yue was positive that Sing hated him. _Say something nice, quick_.

“Thank you” Yue said in a low voice. “Thank you for–"

Sing raised an eyebrow at him.

“For saving your life?” he offered.

“No. I mean – yes. But also for staying tonight.”

Yut-Lung wanted to disappear under the sheets as he realized his absolute incapacity to speak properly.

“Anytime” Sing answered with a smile. He seemed to hesitate a second before adding: “I can stay a bit longer, if you want.”

The proposition took Yue completely by surprise. He sat up next to Sing and looked at him in disbelief, which Sing interpreted as something that resembled indignation.

“I mean, only if you want me to” Sing repeated, “but I’ll just leave if you’d rather be alone.”

“No!” Yue said a bit too hurriedly. He looked away and cleared his throat awkwardly. “I don’t want to be alone” he added. “Please stay.”

Sing nodded and smiled in a way that made Yue feel warm and serene, in a way that made him want to hug him and hold him close and–

But the next moment Sing was on his feet, he stretched, put on his jacket and shoes and opened the curtains.

“Let’s get you something to eat then” he said as he walked to the edge of the bed and waited for Yut-Lung to get up.

Yue walked to his wardrobe, put on a dark kimono and quickly brushed his hair, all the while trying to ignore the fact that Sing was deliberately not looking at him. Then he joined him and waited for him to open the door, but Sing just stood there, his hand on the doorknob, watching Yue with a confusing sort of expression.

“What?” Yue asked impatiently.

“I just – I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

Sing hesitated and he could feel that it only annoyed Yut-Lung, so he decided to risk it.

“Did you really want to die?”

Yue looked as if Sing had just slapped him, and this time it really was indignation that he could see on his face.

“Why are you asking?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Because” Sing began, “you’re the expert when it comes to poisons and drugs, aren’t you? So I’m pretty sure that you know exactly how many of those pills it takes to actually kill someone, or to make them sleep.”

At this point he knew that Yue understood what he was getting at and that he didn’t like it, but he had to say it anyway.

“Look, I’m not blaming you or anything” he added cautiously, “but it took me more than twenty minutes to arrive when you called me. All I’m saying is, that if you really wanted to die, I would have found you dead.”

He said all this very matter-of-factly, without reproach or judgment. Yut-Lung wanted to protest, he wanted to really slap him, or to burst into tears in his arms, he wasn’t sure. But Sing was not finished yet.

“Did you want me to save you?” he asked.

“What if I did?” Yue replied a bit more defiantly than he intended.

Sing frowned.

“There are simpler ways to catch my attention, you know. Safer ways.”

“What do you mean?” Yue asked, frowning too.

“You know what I mean.”

Yue was simply and utterly baffled. What the hell was this about? Was Sing really teasing him? Or was he just mad at him?

“I’m sorry” the Lee boy replied after a while. “I’m really sorry for all this mess. I should never have done this to you.”

“Yeah, well I forgive you” Sing seemed to relax. “Just don’t do it again. I need you to stay alive.”

“Do you?” Yue asked as if he was genuinely surprised.

“Of course, I thought this was pretty clear.”

“It’s not.”

Yue folded his arms and frowned in a way that made Sing wonder if he really was confused or if he was just pretending. It was always difficult to say what was on Yue’s mind as he rarely opened up, but Sing thought that maybe it was time for him to be sincere and vulnerable, that hopefully it would encourage Yue to do the same. Plus, Sing had always been awfully bad at keeping his feelings for himself and he knew that at some point he would have to tell Yue how he felt.

“Oh, I’m sorry” he said with a smile. “Let me clarify this for you then.”

He crossed the space between them and stood before Yue, looking him in the eye while reaching for his hand. He marveled at the fact that Yue had such soft and delicate hands as he twined their fingers together, and leaned in just a little more than necessary. Yue held his gaze, but he was breathing fast. Sing was very close, which should have been pretty awkward, but for some reason Yue didn't mind the proximity between them. He didn't mind the feeling of Sing's hand in his own, either. Actually, he thought this was nice. _What the hell do I do now?_

“So, this is you clarifying the situation?” he asked, trying to keep his composure.

Sing grinned.

“Actually, I could clarify it a bit more if you allowed me to kiss you” he replied softly.

Yut-Lung blushed and quickly looked away. The bastard. The little brat. Now he really was taken off guard. He cleared his throat before recovering his dignified attitude.

“This is silly” he replied, pretending to be annoyed. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Because, for some reason that I cannot fully comprehend, I like you. You don’t have to always be alone, you know” Sing added pointedly.

Yue scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he was still holding Sing’s hand and squeezed it.

“Right, just shut up already and do it” he said.

“Really?”

“Just kiss me, you punk.”

He didn’t have to ask him twice. When Yut-Lung commands, you just obey. And for once, Sing was happy to obey.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first ever BF fic, i haven't read the manga but i've been obsessed with the anime ever since i finished it and i have a lot of feelings about Yuesing so, here we are.  
> sorry if my English is approximate btw, hope you enjoy reading it tho


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